Apathy

Apathy:

Pronunciation: /ˈapəθi/

[Noun] 1. Lack of feeling, passion or interest.

             2. Indifference.

The irony of this post is that I'm struggling to even to work up the enthusiasm to even write this post.

I'll let you in on a secret. I'm struggling with a real bad bout of creative apathy. Even reading is a struggle for me at the moment. The most frustrating thing of all is that I can't seem to put my finger on why I feel this way. Did I burn myself out? Am I just not trying hard enough? I've gone through all the possible reasons and can't pin it down.

I was doing so well in January, keeping to my "don't break the chain" rigorously. However, as we entered February I fell away hard. I've since taken the poster down because its a constant reminder of how badly I failed.

My creative well seems to have run completely dry and even though we're not too far away from Spring, there seems to be no signs of approaching showers to replenish my supply.

What do you do when you hit a creativity drought. Any and all suggestions are welcome to break this cursed state!

Sarah x

IWSG - Small Victories

All my free time comes in lump sums. That's the curse of being a teacher. A first year teacher at least who has to make up all her lessons from scratch. The only real  bulk of free time that I have comes in the holidays which, I grant you, do make up for the stress of term time. But this means that I've never really finished anything in my life, and very few of the stories in my head can be finished outside of 100k.

As a result of this, my fiction makes slow progress. I tend to write only on average 30 minutes each day. It's not ideal. I would love to immerse myself completely in my world but it's simply not do-able. But the fact remains; I've never really finished anything.

So to make up for this, I decided to stretch my wings a little with a lesson and I wrote a sketch. I'm no stranger to script writing, but only for the Nativities at my Church where I was put in charge of the yearly performance of our young people. Even then I can't take all the credit. Normally I found a script or an idea online and adapted it for our small number of children. But last week, I took it upon myself to write an entire script from scratch. The class in question are not my favourite by any means. They're a mixed bag of personalities with one thing in common, there are very few in the class for whom science is interesting. And those that are interested struggle with it. But I'd been observed with them by another member of staff and although my lesson was satisfactory, we had a long chat and he inspired me to try harder with them, rather than plunging through the content with my head down ignoring all the troublemaking.

So I wrote them a script, where the specialised cells of the body have a huge argument over who is the most important, subtlety slipping in the facts about each cell that they have to know.  It took me, perhaps a little under an hour and a half. It was short, but I felt some kind of accomplishment having completed something of my own creation

And they loved it. Everyone who wanted to got involved and those who didn't, for the first time, respectfully sat back and watched the ones reading out their parts. They put in expression and no-one talked over anyone else, a first for them.

I'm under no delusions. They're not cured, and this week they'll probably be back to their naughty selves. But for the first time since September I was proud of them. And of myself. I completed something literary of my own design. It was small but it's a step in the right direction.

What are the small victories that keep you going? Finishing a chapter? Finishing a scene?

Sarah x

What I read in January

I never do read very many books throughout a month because lesson preparation takes up a lot of my free time. However, here's what I did read in January.

1. Code Name Verity



I started this book sometime in October and couldn't for the life of me get into it. I read small portions of it, then finally relented and started another book. I went back to it New Years Eve to try and reach my Goodreads Challenge goal. That was when something clicked and I couldn't put it down.

A very good book I just wish that I'd clicked with the book earlier to allow myself to enjoy it in one lump rather than spread out thinly over months.

There are some definite surprises in this book that I didn't see coming and it has a wonderful reveal that pieces everything together, including some things that only the most perceptive will have picked up on earlier in the book.





2. Throne Of Glass



This series has been sitting on my shelf for quite a while now. It's been floating around the blogosphere for what feels like forever but I only just got around to picking it up.

I cannot remember the last time a book hooked me quite so well. I was really into it from the very beginning and read it in a few days, which for term time, and a book of 400+ pages, of relatively small print, was really impressive for me.

The characters are all very rounded and interesting and there are some real twists and turns. The fantasy element of it is a slow burn, which I'm all for!

My one concern was the threat of a love triangle that leered it's ugly face over the second half of this book. I know why triangles exist but I just have yet to see one done particularly well. I will be delving into the next book in this series quite soon to see what becomes of this intriguing world and it's inhabitants.


Still reading: Outlander (Audiobook), Lord of the Flies, The Mysterious Affair at Styles

What did you read this month?

Sarah